It is ok to have conflicting emotions.

In Kabbalah, Ancient Jewish Mysticism, I learned about something called the Ten Sefirot.  I remember, up until that point, thinking that we, as humans, were supposed to have a single unified life force inside of us that was always in agreement.  The Ten Sefirot tell me, that not only am I not “supposed to have” a single unified life force inside of me, that I perceive each life event from as many at TEN different points of view!  The points of view do not always agree, they are not always in harmony and sometimes need careful balancing.  This is why, sometimes, when we have conflicting emotions, the answer is wait.  Wait until all of you are in agreement.  This is why the most important conversation you will ever have is with your own self.  Balancing the Ten Sefirot is a life-long pursuit!  

https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/the-ten-sefirot-of-the-kabbalah